Sunday, July 27, 2014

Anime High School (Staff)

         Since high school is so popular in anime, I thought it would be nice to synthesize a fictional high school staff consisting of various anime characters. Back when I was in middle school, a friend of mine brought some magazine that had anime and American cartoon characters grouped together as a  school staff. That is where I got this idea. 

         Now, this is just a spoof, meaning this isn't supposed to be taken seriously. If you don't find a particular character you like in my grouping, it is because I don't know the character, I couldn't think of the character, or I just don't think the character has a place in the grouping. If you don't like the grouping, make your own, and tell me. I would love to see more of this kind of stuff.


   














          Kiryuin Satsuki from Kill la Kill. Nationalism is a great thing. But we all know that too much of a good thing can be bad. Fascism is pretty much an extreme form of nationalism. So I thought it would be funny to have the principal as the fascist b@d@$$ leader, Kiryuin Satsuki. Imagine attending a school where Hitler's granddaughter is the headmaster. (You know I'm just kidding?)




         Mizuho Kazami from Please Teacher!. I had a lot of trouble finding an appropriate character for a homeroom teacher. I initially wanted to use Komoe Tsukuyomi from A Certain Magical Index, but I already used somebody from the series, so I ended up using the classic (I think), Mizuho Kazami from Please Teacher!. Since she is actually an alien from outer space, I figured it would be awesome. But then again, she keeps her extraterrestrial identity a secret, so that would be irrelevant... at least she's hot...









         Killer Bee from Naruto: Shippuden


 "Yo say HO!

Know my name, know my fame, don't be lame! 

Eight tails , that's me da rappin Killer bee! 

A tailed beast resides, inside my hide! 

Makin' beats and rhymes and i'm makin' 'em live! 

It's what a Jinchuriki needs to survive! 

Battle after battle up here in the Bee Hive!"

         Yeah. If you don't know Killer Bee, the guy is a rapper. I'd love to have a rapper for a language arts teacher. It would be sick when he/she teaches the class for poetry. I would have the "illest" flow when I write my poem.







         Yuki Nagato from The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. The reason why I picked this imitation of Rei Ayanami from Neon Genesis Evangelion (when I say imitation, I didn't mean it in a derogatory way), is because of the "Infinite Eight", so that makes her a "recorder", something that is essential for history. If you happen to find "Infinite Eight" unfamiliar, I strongly urge you to either watch The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya or just look up the "Infinite EIght". However I do recommend watching The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya






         Mikoto Misaka from A Certain Magical Index. Here she is. The character that I have foreshadowed. Misaka is a level 5 esper. Her power is manipulating electromagnetism. Since physics courses includes  electromagnetism, Misaka is perfect for the job. I would love to see a human just like me playing around with one of the four fundamental forces of our universe.







        Professor Oak from Pokémon. Ha-ha, didn't see this one coming did you? A zoologist, who is an "expert" on Pokémon would be perfect for a biology teacher. Ha, my foot. This guy needs to ask ten year old boys and girls to do all the work for him. If he were a teacher, he would tell all the students to learn all the material themselves. 





   Rika Shiguma from Haganai. Rika is actually a genius that is very capable of doing many things other than chemistry. The reason why I picked her for chemistry...is because of the picture of her I am using... ha-ha... not a very good reason... But hey, she is a genius, so it would be awesome if the Einstein of the 21st century taught me some chemistry.






        Shinji Ikari from Neon Genesis Evangelion. NGE, a psychological anime. Shinji Ikari, a wimp who deals with a truckload of psychological damage. I am pretty sure we all get where I am getting at. But just for the heck of it, I'll evaluate why I picked Shinji for a psychology teacher. Since psychology class deals with a lot of mental disorders, human's sexual nature (cough...End of Evangelion), trauma, and all of that depressing stuff... it would make sense that Shinji teaches that stuff...Because he experienced a whole ton of that... Especially sexual stuff... Oh, I feel sorry for Asuk-






        Seraphim from Is This is Zombie?. If you have watched a good number of anime, you would know that bad anime cooks are common. So, a whole crowd of anime characters would qualify for this job. (Haha, see the irony?) What makes Seraphim stand out from the crowd, is because... of the picture of her I found... it was the only picture that depicts how bad a cook she is that I could find... Yeah, anticlimactic. 





         Mashiro Shiina from The Pet Girl of Sakurasou. What if a art prodigy were to teach me art? That would be freaking awesome. Since I suck at drawing, I would love to have somebody who is a genius at drawing save me from the pit of bad drawing skills. (Not that there is anything wrong with having no drawing talent.) Oh yeah, since Shiina can't take care of herself, I wouldn't mind becoming her assistant for everything that involves taking care of herself. Like the times when Sorata brushed her teeth and stuff...








         Kotomi Ichinose from Clannad. Another young genius in the sciences like Rika Shiguma. Believe it or not, Kotomi has another phenomenal talent: her deadly violin playing. Kotomi can emit noises that can permanently damage people's ear drums by playing the violin.  Why the hell would I want a weapon to teach me? I don't. But it would be fun to hear about the stories of catastrophic lessons she gives. (You all know I am just kidding? Right?)






         Goku from Dragon Ball. Yeah, one of the most OP characters of anime history. If this guy were to teach a gym class, he would just laugh at how "unfit" the students are. "I can run faster than that when I was DEAD", "You call that a swing? I can swing harder than that with a FINGER" and all these comments about how physically superior he is. Of course everybody is slow and weak... if you compare everybody with Goku.







         Jibril from No Game No Life. If you watched No Game No Life, you would know that the Flugel have a great lust for knowledge. Heck, Jibril OWNS an entire library. So obviously, it would be awesome if Jibril were to be my school's librarian. Not to mention that we could play a little game of materialization word chain. Of course I would start off with a bang. 







         Kirby from Kirby: Right Back At Ya!. Ah, nostalgia rush. I'm pretty sure that the 90s babies are familiar with this pink friend. If you aren't familiar with Kirby, he basically inhales bad guys up and copies their power(s). When I mean inhale, I mean literally. Like a vacuum. And we all know that vacuums are used for cleaning. Get it? 







          Sousuke Sagara from Full Metal Panic!. This guy is a legend. Sousuke is an elite super solider that happens to be... well... paranoid? He can rescue a high school girl in a heavily guarded hostile base, so he is a real bad @$$. But he is ridiculously stupid. Since Sousuke is an elite solider, he can tell if somebody has even TOUCHED he shoe locker. However, he interprets the touching as a life threatening danger, such as a potential implanting of a bomb, so he detonates his shoe locker, before the bomb gets him. If a guy like him were to be the school security guard, school life would be...like an action movie... 



















         So that's my "Anime High School (Staff)" post. I would really like to see the groupings of others, so you can leave a  comment below or you can post a grouping on your blog and tell me. 

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

The Anime Science We All Love 1.0




         I wonder, when anime characters study the sciences in school, do they learn the same science we humans do, or do they learn the sciences within their own anime universe? 


         Here are some anime science facts that we have all seen in a bunch of anime. But I am really curious, do they go over our science or their science?




Physics



- Sound exists in space.


- Time slows down arbitrarily for an anime character when the following but not limited occurs: 


1. He or she reminisces his or her past

2. He or she performs an "epic" feat
3. He or she is about to die

-Large mechs are capable of moving at high speeds


-There is a direct correlation with anger and strength.

Just roar and you get ripped and blond.

-Making loud sounds increases the force of anything.


-Accuracy of bullets increase significantly when a "good" guy shoots, but drastically decreases when a minor "bad" guy shoots.


-All matter has a black outline on its edges.


-Anime characters have choppy movement instead of fluid movement.


-When an anime hero causes an explosion, all of the bad guys from various distances are eliminated, but the ally of the hero who was closest to the explosion remains intact.


-Fast movement by levitation is possible for magical girls.


-Law of Conversation of Mass is broken when magical girls transform. 



Where did the extra matter come from?



Anatomy


- An anime character's mouth appears to have a chemical that combusts with extremely hot or spicy foods.



I see a lot of energy released there.


- Anime girls have very strong backs that supports their huge breasts.


- Anime characters releases amounts of water from his or her eyes more than what his or her body contains.

Abundant ionic solution can be obtained by making an anime girl cry.

-Blood pressure increases when an anime character gets cut.


-Any color from the spectrum are considered to be normal and natural hair/eye colors for anime characters.


-Anime characters have eyes that cover half their faces.

Dang, girl, ain't dust get in ya eyes?

-Anime characters both male and female release blood from their noses when sexually aroused. 

"This is strangely arousing, I must take a picture of it, for later..."



-Anime girls are capable of kicking anime boys really far away, yet they struggle to resist the strength of anime boys when assaulted (ex: rape).


-It is not uncommon to find mature anime females with the body of a preschooler.


-Volume of sound and the size of an anime character's mouth are directly proportional. 


-An anime female can get pregnant by methods other than sexual reproduction such as: kissing, having an anime male stare at them, etc.

From kissing.

-Unimportant characters often lack details of a face or even bodies as a whole. 


-Some anime characters don't age.



She's over 200 years old.

-When anime homosexuals get intimate, flowers bloom around them. (Or at least the context appears BL or GL.) 



They're not lesbian, but you get the point.


-Anime characters are able to produce diverse sounds by moving their mouths the same way.





Anthropology 


-The most attractive anime females tend to flock over the most bland anime male character in existence.



This guy is SO bland; you can't even see his face.


-The anime males that gets the most attention from anime females, fail to notice the attention he receives.


-It is often hard to distinguish anime characters by ethnic backgrounds.



Question: Who is the Russian?
Answer: There is no Russian.


-Incest is looked down upon when it is the main theme of the story, however when the anime is not about incest, one can find anime characters that openly fantasize about incest, particularly for little sisters.



A lot of irony.


-Anime females tend to make lunches for their love interest.


-Some anime females tend to say the following phrase "I-it's not like I (insert word or phrase)...baka!"



(Phrase may vary.)


-It is uncommon, but does occur, for an anime character to talk or behave as if he/she were breaking the fourth wall.


-The color of an anime character's attire correlates with his/her personality. 


-Sex is something considered taboo, yet everybody does it anyways.


-A third anime female accidentally encounters a scene that supposedly depicts an anime male sexually assaulting an anime female, and starts beating up the anime male. However, when an anime female sexually assaults an anime male, nobody shows up.


-When an anime male and female are in a situation where sexual tensions are high, a third anime female shows up and automatically blames the anime male as if he committed a crime.


-It is very common for anime parents to be dead, divorced, missing, living separately, etc.


-When anime characters use a particular attack, they yell out the name of the move.


-Anime female school uniforms have very short skirts.



My BOXERS are longer than these skirts.


-No matter what taboos, crimes, sins an anime female may have committed in the past, there is an anime male that is willing to risk his life for the anime female. It is also common for the anime female to get away with what she did legally. Not to mention the anime female is very attractive.


-It is often found that anime males are the ones that correct the anime females. EXCEPT when the anime female is older than the anime male.


-Old anime men are found to be sexually attracted to MUCH younger anime females.


-Old anime men sometimes have an extreme obsession for his granddaughter to the point of borderline (if not crossed) incest.








Props to U of Utah, Uncyclopedia, and Kyle Hill for the references I used. 

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Anime Characters That Look Alike 2.0




Here's the second batch of look alike anime characters. 


If you want to see the previous one, here it is. Anime Character Look Alikes.


Now, I have reused two characters from my previous one, but they are paired with a different look alike. 


Enjoy.


Ryou Fujibayashi & Kyou Fujibayashi (Clannad)

Tsukasa Hiiragi & Kagami Hiiragi (Lucky Star)


I can see the Hiiragi twins amazed by their look alikes













Kirino Kousaka (Oreimo)
Theia (Rokujouma no Shinryakusha!?)

These doppelgangers don't look too happy.













Siesta (Zero no Tsukaima)

Hotogi Shirayuki (Hidan no Aria)

A maid and a shrine girl. What more can a guy ask?













Shirou Emiya (Fate/stay night)
Yuzuru Otonashi (Angel Beats!)
"People die when they are killed!" - Shirou Emiya

"Tell me about it." - Yuzuru Otonashi











Kuroneko (Oreimo)

Mitsuki Kanzaki (Saikin, Imouto no Yousu ga Chotto Okashiinda ga.)

Both appear in (sort of) about incest anime.













Masuzu Natsukawa (Oreshura)

Seitenshi (Black Bullet)
Yep, I am guessing that these two chicks have some white in them.





















Akane Suzumiya (Rumbling Hearts)

Miharu Amakase (Da Capo)

Both look alike and appear in drama anime. (I like Akane so much more.)














Ichigo Morino (Onegai Teacher)

Taiga Aisaka (Toradora!)
Oh, snap. The Palm Top Tiger is about to get it with her look alike.




















Aria H. Kanzaki (Hidan no Aria)

Enju Aihara (Black Bullet)

These gals are like look alike opposites. Aria looks sharp and Enju looks innocent.























Akane Hanasaki (Da Capo II)

Super Sonico (Super Sonico The Animation)

Two curvy pink headed anime girls. 






























Yukimura Kusunoki (Haganai)

Mikoto Misaka (A Certain Magical Index)
A trap and a tsundere.

























Kamina (Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann)
 Moji Mahibi (Medaka Box)

Gainax...what have you done to Kamina??? Why??? 

























Haruka Nanase (Free!)
Tatsuya Shiba (The Irregular at Magic High School)

(This is where the ladies are supposed to cheer.)













If you have any other look alike characters that you have noticed, please leave a comment below.